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golf is not a sport


this is a follow-up on the comment from the previous post:

wow. such hostility. you sound like a british soccer fan.

i will still contend that golf is not a sport. you say the course is the defense, but what is the course's offense? in a sport, each team has an offense and a defense. with golf, the golfer is on offense all the time and the course is on defense all the time.

now, if we want to make it a sport, i suggest that we install some computerized tennis ball shooters that fire upon the players. how ever many shots the course takes before hitting the player in the head is the course score for that golfer.

or we could make it more like football and have 2 teams of golfers line up facing each other in the tee box. when the guy with the club yells "one", the ball is hiked between the knickers to the caddy who then places the ball quickly on the tee. the defensive squad has until the guy yells "four" (no longer spelled "fore") to break through the o line and block the drive. each shot would be played this way until he gets on the green. . .at which point it would become more like curling and everyone would get a shot at either making it into the hole or blocking the other team's attempts.

until such measures are taken, i will continue to believe the truth about golf: it is a competitive game, but not a sport.

fyi, the next part of my argument relates to the meanings of words and why we have synonyms. since this is the summer, i really don't want to deal with issues relating to "school-type stuff". . .so please don't make me bring it out.

more later. . .
peace and java

kindergarten adventure begins

so the warrior child passed his kindergarten test. it was an exciting event (a few pictures can be seen here). below are some of the highlights of the test:

  • question: what is your phone number?
    answer: "2"
    explanation: we currently only have cell phones and have set the speed dial on each of the phones so that 2 gets the other cell.
  • question: which of the following pictures is a sport?
    answer: (he got the right one--tennis, but he looked at me for a couple seconds before answering)
    explanation: i usually drill landon on what activities are sports and what activities are not sports. for example, baseball is a sport, but golf is not. so he thought he might be in trouble if he picked something that dad doesn't consider a sport. for those of you that believe golf is a sport, please demonstrate the defensive aspects of the game and show me that there is sufficient physical exertion to warrant sport status (do us both a favor and please don't try to convince me that by walking the course, it is difficult).
  • question: what season do we wear shorts?
    answer: winter
    explanation: for some reason, landon enjoys wearing long-sleeved, long-legged pjs during the summer months and then wants to wear shorts in the winter. he even kicks the blankets off in winter, but piles them on in summer. so i'd say he answered correctly for him, but not for the majority of the populace.

all-in-all, he had a lot of fun (even though the basketball he had to catch was a michigan ball). . .and did very well.

more later. . .

peace and java

happy father's day

so yeah, yesterday was dad's day and it was all great waking up to the warrior child telling me that i had to wake up to get my gift. . .which he wanted to play with. then captain destructo (aka dalton) kept hacking and blowing junk out his nose. . .so i stayed home with him so that the wife could go work in the nursery. it was amazing! who knew so much snot could come from such a little kid?

my children were nice enough to allow me a nap in the afternoon. . .after taking turns cuddling each of them (don't mind that at all). . .and actually, auburn took part of her nap on me.

the wife got the privilege of wiping dalton's nose during the evening service as i was on projector duty. so i'm getting the dvd presentation ready and landon tells me he has to go to the restroom. no biggie. . .until sister decides she has to go to. unfortunately, that idea struck her a little too late. so i find an empty men's room and wipe down the soggy child (thank goodness mom had sent an extra set of clothes for playground night. . .too bad she had to use them before church even started). what really frustrated me was the smile on her face as i was cleaning her.

it reminded me of a bathroom visit with the original child. i think we were visiting nicole's grandparents in ohio and had stopped to get something to eat. landon had a messy diaper and i got the happy job of detox. not thinking about the fact that he had never been into a public restroom, i laid him down and proceeded to prepare for surgery. . .at which point he crawled over to the men's room vertical specials and began to splash away. i was totally grossed out as he proceeded to slap his face and mouth with the infected hands. i quickly grabbed him up, washed his hands and then attempted to regain composure so as to remove the soiled diaper. as i re-attempted the extraction, he smiled up at me and said, "that was kinda funny."

i'm laughing now, but i wasn't then. truly, it is great to be a father. . .as long as i survive.

more later. . .

peace and java


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